On the outside, my life seems pretty normal and things honestly couldn't be any better. I have an amazing new job, my husband got a raise at his job, my daughter is growing healthy and happy. I am working on getting more involved at my Church and I am always trying to find things to do with my family to be involved in our community and extended family. So why do I feel like all of these amazing, loving people are so far out of my reach?

I don't have trouble socializing but I feel like I am just talking on auto pilot and watching from a foot away... My husband and daughter end up suffering the most for it. I come home from work and tell myself "okay, you're gonna engage!" and I try so hard to stay upbeat and listen, but I can't focus and I find my hearing going in and out, not physically, just that I only can catch parts of what is being said and I try to fill in the blanks myself to not be rude.. but my husband notices and I know it hurts him... My daughter is only 2 but she is such a mommy's girl. I love her so much and adore when she is so excited to see me, but just like with my husband, I lose the energy almost instantly and I feel like I'm gonna suffocate if she climbs all over me again...

I don't like feeling this way... I know I love all of these people and I want to have a strong bond with everyone, like I did in the past, but I don't know what changed.. I just can't find the internal motivation to connect with these people anymore, no matter how desperate I am to.. What is wrong with me?

I don't really know how to explain it.. and it sounds so crazy to me as I reread what I am typing... but this insanity is how I feel in my head everyday.. I can't figure out what to do.. and I am scared I will permanently hurt my family if I don't fix it...