I'm so anxious and jittery I want to run, jump, scream, laugh, cry, curl up into a ball, roll around, and scream again.
There is so much nervous energy I'm fighting at the moment I'm getting lightheaded. I have nothing to be afraid of, I'm okay but at the same time I'm sitting here thinking about slamming my head into a wall because I generally deal with this sort of thing with self harm [not so dramatically I forget sometimes it's hard to hear tone in text rather then knowing I'm being a touch sarcastic] but I'm working past that old methed of coping. So now I'm sitting here heart racing chain smoking ready to scream and it's 10 pm soooo if I do that now I'll really upset some people. XD
It's strange, when it's silent and no one is screaming at me... I get nervous. But when I'm being yelled at or called names-- I'm very calm. I think it's whenever I have to sit and be with myself I lose my mind. Not one person in my life who MATTERS has said anything kind or loving to me in at least three months lol-- this must be conditioning or something.

BLEH Anyone else ready to explode for no good reason?

I'm sorry if my spelling is off-- XD




MEH!