Thank you for the reassurance/support [emoji4] it's really helped to know I'm not alone in this.

I've taken benzos before as prescribed for really intense anxiety/emergencies related to grad school stress/the fear that I'd be kicked out of my PhD program. I think I'll see if I can make it through the time leading up to the meeting without my anxiety interfering with my work. I'll have one in my purse though, that way if his response is rejection then I can take it when I leave the office so it will have time to start working and kick in soon after I get home, reducing the likelihood of me doing something stupid and self destructive.

Self harm TW: