I have such a strange relationship with my family. Love and dislike, admiration and indifference, dependence and and avoidance.

I feel like my existence and will is turned off when I am home. The criticism and their emotional shut down don't bring the best on me. I know they love me and care about me...I feel guilty. My mother's emotional blackmail can be powerful. I am still waiting for some emotional support and understanding from them, but that's what won't happen.

Emotional abuse isn't lighter than physical abuse. I may be wrong, but I am tempted to think it's worse. (it's a matter of how and how much).