The fact that I am self mediating with alcohol makes me think I do need to find the "right" medication, even if all meds have failed me up to this point. I drank last night and want to drink again tonight just to feel normal, give me that edge. Have to talk to my dr when I see him on Monday. I don't know how I am going to cope, I guess trying distractions and get involved with things if my mind doesn't race or obsess too much to get anything done. I swear I don't know what else to do. Saw my therapist today. It concerns me how my symptoms have changed and gotten worse this week, after the decrease in the last med I am taking. Maybe I do in fact need it, at the right doses and right med combination if that is what is needed.