I want to warn all that this may trigger if you are sensitive.

Mom has cancer and we have known for a while now that at some point she will lose the battle. Well, she got an infection due to a bacteria and it's called C-Def (or C-Dif?) and she ended up in the hospital on Saturday. The meds didn't work, so they switched to a different med to try to get rid of this infection. She has been non-responsive since about 10pm last night.
The nurses told us today that we need to start thinking about making preparations with mortuary.
She has fluid in her lungs, has a very low blood pressure and her breathing is very slow with lots of time in between breaths.
We had a chaplain come in the room today and the family is all trying to fly up.
I keep thinking I am ready for her to go, but I don't really think I am. This is really hard to deal with.
My step-dad feels completely lost. He is just wandering the hospital, can't eat, can't sleep, can't even come into the room to see mom.
Why does this have to be so dang hard?! There is a big part of me that hopes she passes soon to be out of pain, but there is the selfish part of me that wants mom to be around forever.
Anyways, is it "normal" to feel so lost and like I have to be the strong one for my sisters and step-dad?
Mom's dad just passed in October, so she knows he is waiting for her and her favorite Aunt passed many years ago, but she knows she is waiting too.
I really hope I can get thru this. I guess it's just a waiting game now.