I probably shouldn't be posting this now, since I'm tired and will probably miss out things, but I'm going to try.

So, for those of you who don't know, I was in therapy between November 2006 and April 2007 for issues with compulsive hair-pulling, a trauma in my past and social anxiety. (Not that I ever got any diagnoses.) My parents weren't happy about it - well, my mum was at first, and my dad grudgingly agreed, but as time went on they'd start asking me when I could see him less often, if I felt I really needed to be there, what I was talking about in session...eventually they "asked" me if they thought I should make the next session my last.

I agreed because I didn't trust myself to disagree and stay calm, but in the email I sent to my therapist I told him it was my parents' idea that I should quit, and I didn't want to just yet. However, when I got to the session, near the start he told me "this will be our last session" - no "what do you think?" or "do you agree?" or anything! I was too stunned to say anything, so that was our last session. I haven't been in therapy since.

There have been times since then when I've considered going back (not to him, to someone different...if I could find anyone), but there are various reasons I don't want to:

- I don't want to go through the hassle of finding someone, finding time inbetween lectures and studying and orchestra, only to have it not work out again.

- My parents finding out. There's no way I'd be able to keep it from them (I'm a terrible liar, and they can usually tell when I'm hiding something), and I'd probably end up having to ask them to pay for it, unless I went through the university (in which case they'd kick me out after ten sessions, if I read the website correctly). If I did go back, it'd just reinforce their belief that therapy doesn't actually do any good - why didn't it work the first time?

- There were times when I wondered if I should have actually been there. My parents obviously thought I was fine, my therapist seemed pretty keen to get rid of me, there were sessions where I didn't have a clue what to talk about...I don't want to waste anyone else's time. And, I do seem to function pretty well - I know I come across as nervous and quiet, and one of my friends here has witnessed a near-panic attack of mine when something similar to "my" trauma came on the news, but I don't usually hide from people any more, and most of the time I can believe that my friends actually like me, even if I can't always understand why. (One of the things we never really worked on in therapy, and one of the reasons I sometimes think about going back, is self-esteem - I don't exactly have much of it. )

Anyway, I'm not sure there's really much of a point to this thread, seeing as I seriously doubt I will be going back to therapy in the near future...but I guess I'd just like to hear other people's thoughts. Has anyone here had an ending similar to mine, and if so how did you get over it?