I have been working with a certified sex therapist and a surrogate partner because of intimacy and issues touching women. Many sessions at the beginning involved touching and feeling, but not of the others bodies. Then touching of bodies was slowly introduced and progressed in following sesons. Now we have introduced intercourse. I may not orgasm during intercourse yet, but I can in other ways. And I have learned to give my partner orgasms every session, and this was very important to me. My therapist calls it "She always cums first."

The process we used was called "Sensate Focus." The slow buildup of the process is to foster a sexual energy but denied initially. This helped me to overcome arousal and desire difficulties.

I think this process might benefit you. Google "Sensate Focus" and look it over. It can be dofficult to find a good discussion on how to do it. If you can't find it let me know and I will track down the instructions.