Thank you for your definition. As promised (implied) I'm going to work with yours.

Let's say that I tell you that I really love my job and hope to work there until I retire. Now let's say I start coming to work late a couple times a week or more. I start leaving early on the weekends. I don't get my work done on time and I complain constantly.

I can think of two possible reasons for my behavior. Number one, I don't love my job. It doesn't mean I necessarily lied - I may have thought I loved my job because, let's say, I confused loving my job with loving the security a job gave me. It's really the paycheck I loved - especially after being unemployed and in fear of losing my housing. The other possibility is that I don't have the skills - emotional or otherwise to actually be employed, at least at this job. I may love it but until I get my emotional house in order, it's simply too stressful, or too demanding or too whatever for me at this time in my life.

If I really loved my job and had the skills to actually do my job, I wouldn't risk losing it. So, I'd say that he either confused loving you with loving the esteem he felt because someone loved him OR he really does love you and lacks the skills to be in a healthy relationship.