I talked with T on the phone. She said "you are the boss of you". I have to do what I think is best for me. Try medication, go off gabapentin, get x-ray. I have to listen to what I think.

She also told me I get amped up and hyper, and my whole body tightens, and that makes everything worse. She wants me to read my DBT book again.

I said my child part wants her to be Mommy and kiss me and make it better. Sigh. She doesn't want to "go there" anymore. She told me I can be there for my child part, and I have a lot of people who support me in my life. She told me it would help if I connected with someone and got out of the house into the air.

So I did, and felt better! T is right. I ought to listen to her more often.