I have to say that after writing this I just reminded myself to do what I needed to do to care for myself and strangely I found that no one minded. Like I ordered what I wanted at dinner and didn't eat it all so took it home (no one cared), after dinner I went for a hike to feel better (no one cared), then I retreated to the basement to relax and have alone time (no one cared).

So the thing is, I'm spending time with my mom and stepdad. My mom has done a lot of work on herself, and my stepdad has always been laid back. (They married when I was an adult.) I think I'm still responding to my father's way of things, which was to always try and please him and that I have to stick to his schedule, and I can't have my own needs.

Yesterday was actually a lot of fun even though I had to redirect my thoughts a lot and manage my energy. I would have more days like that if I can.

Thanks for the support!

Seesaw