I don't see what is wrong with asking her where you both stand in the relationship. Maybe asking her will draw her attention to her own behaviour. Basically, relationships are supposed to be equal and you shouldn't feel upset or insecure from how she treats you. To my mind, there is nothing wrong with feeling a little sorry for yourself when you feel ill and she should have sympathised with you not criticized you. If she is really doing you no good from the relationship and hurting you, maybe you should consider stopping writing to her.