I don't take any medication at all so obviously I don't like meds. I also stay away from doctors unless absolutely necessary.

But I have noticed (not saying this is true) that you have repeatedly explained an unwillingness to pursue certain strategies with rationales that seem less consistent with the open-mindedness I have seen from you here more recently. Above, you are kind of pessimistic and future-predicting about even a consultation. Maybe it's connected to your desire to be taken care of, as you acknowledge. This resonates with me so strongly because after being widowed I felt this often, especially in times of stress. At least it felt like to me after many years of being married, there were things that made me feel taken care of, I just didn't know it. And the responsibility of going it alone and all that comes with that can be pretty overwhelming after you've had someone to share the burden.

I'm not saying you have to do things recommended to you by people on the internet (and just like with legal advice, it's good to be skeptical with medical advice). I guess I'm just wondering if part of what's going on now is that your physical self is trying to get your attention and needs you to do something different than you're doing now, but you are reluctant listen. FWIW.