Quote:
Originally Posted by mostlylurking
Has a therapist ever terminated with you because they felt they lacked the proper training / skills / experience to help you? Do you know if they decided this themselves, or were told they were not equipped to see you by a supervisor or colleague?
Were you given a choice about seeking care elsewhere, or was that decision made unilaterally? Were you offered termination sessions with the T? Did the T provide you with referrals that you found useful? Did you, indeed, find better help with another T?
Prior to that, had you been satisfied with the care you were receiving? Or did you concur that the T was not equipped to help you, and you had been dissatisfied?
If you were terminated unilaterally, how did it affect you emotionally? Do you feel that it was ultimately beneficial to you, or overall mostly harmful?
Thanks for any and all replies!
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I don't know the reason, but I believe now that she lacked the skills. What she did at the time was simply put it on me by saying "You're very ill." And she said it angrily. That hurt more than anything, although it was all deeply wounding.
I suspect she talked to others about terminating, but she did not tell me.
She gave me the name of someone I knew in a different context and did not care for as a person, so it was useless to me as a reference.
Yes, it was unilateral and I had no choice. She even told me I was not allowed to talk. She justified this by saying she would not charge me. The way she phrased it "I don't want your money anymore."
I did not see it coming. I showed up for what I thought was a regular appointment, she said what she wanted to, I broke down sobbing, so shocked and distraught, it took some time to get out the door. Since she didn't want my money, it was not a full session. I think it took maybe 20 minutes or so for it all to go down.
Prior to that, I didn't think in terms of being happy with my therapy or not. I had begun to spiral and she was probably frustrated by that. I would have continued therapy if it had been my choice because it was my only source of human support. My life tanked after she terminated. I sold my home, quit my job, moved, and ultimately ended up without a home, getting by housesitting and taking care of animals for $10 a day.
I can't pin that all on her, but it was an inciting incident. It took me another 10 years to try therapy again, but then that therapist moved away suddenly after 5 months. My therapist today has an uphill battle due to my distrust. It has taken an awful toll that way, and I wonder how much more progress I could make with my therapist if all of those old fears and wounds weren't in the way.