I just want to share with all of you what it's like for me to have depression.

I am sitting there tied to a chair, I had been sitting there for months and I am so worn down. I am tired, I hurt I am so confused. Life seems to flash before my eyes and I wonder have I even done anything? Have I been worthy enough to be a person? Am I going to be able to get out of this chair? See the chair is in this dark cold hole, that is so deep I see no light. When I do see light I wonder if my eyes are playing tricks on me. Light is so little sitting in this hole in this chair. I sit and wonder, what do I have to offer this world?

But then again I know that somehow I will find a way to lift myself higher and higher. So I can see more and more light. One day I will be overwhelmed by the light that I can clearly see everything. I will be able to see life. This thought is what keeps me going, keeps me concentrated, keeps me trying to continue to find that way to creep up and creep up higher and higher, where light becomes my friend and not just some fairy tale for me. I will not give up on life I will though continue to fight, fight and fight and fight and not give up. Even if I get knocked down, I must fight. I am fighting myself because this depression comes from within, but I will overcome, I will win.

I know this all sounded kind of strange. I guess it is just really an analogy for how I see depression. I hope it is something that some of you may be able to relate to.

Jennifer