Why do I want to self harm so much? I thought after our session on Friday that I would feel like I was done acting out and be ready to work with you and trust you. But I still feel like I'm not ready to let go of it. Am I trying to figure out where the boundaries are? To test you? To show you that it's not going to be that easy? Because part of me is still scared to trust you and I need to act out and see that you're still there and still holding the boundaries and still safe? To show myself that I don't need you?

Will I actually be ready to talk about my urges to self harm as they relate to my attachment to you? Can I actually bring myself to say these things to your face?