I gave in to my urges to self harm last night. I'm not proud at all. I know I'm just making things worse for myself, but it at least gives me some form of emotional release since it feels nearly impossible for me to cry. It gives me the same sort of feeling as crying. I haven't found any better coping skills that give me that release. Listening to music has been the closest, but I'm unable to listen to it every time I need to. Of course, the same is true of crying and cutting myself... but the emotions still build up.

I did manage to resist the urge this morning, but it was close and very tempting. I can't even be very proud of myself for that, though, because the only thing that kept me from hurting myself was hearing my mom come home.