I'm sorry you are struggling with all of this. I'm afraid I don't really have anything specific to offer. However here are links to some articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on the subject of treating OCD. Perhaps some of the information in these articles can be of some help:

https://psychcentral.com/lib/ocd-and...t-experiences/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/erp-the...-treating-ocd/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/treatme...sive-disorder/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/when-to...tment-for-ocd/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/relationship-ocd/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/avoidan...er-the-answer/

I wish you well...