Thanks for your responses. I found a therapist to work and am eager to get this stuff out and not hold it in anymore.

I think for a long time I've either blamed myself or written it off as "well, he didn't really mean it like that" when that's beside the point. I don't know how else it could have been received.

In retrospect, it was both physical and sexual, despite the fact that our clothes were on. The fact that he got on top of me, held me down and wouldn't let me get up (after slamming me into a wall with a plastic baseball bat at my throat).

Incidentally, the person I had been seeing in this process ended things with me - which is for the best. I would have eventually anyway. I told him the whole story about what happened (which I don't feel comfortable sharing here). His response was "huh, well, I suppose it could have been different had it been a different girl - maybe she would have been laughing through the whole thing." That was my cue to exit that relationship. Maybe being with him triggered a response in me to release some of this - I have no idea. Every time he touched my neck it triggered the bad feelings - I know I've had that same reaction from other guys, but for some reason it seemed really pronounced with him. I'm not sure if it's a statement about him or about me, or maybe my inability to really trust him from the beginning. Maybe it was my body's way of saying "watch out for this one." In the end, I realized he lied to me about something pretty big, whether or not he is conscious of that is another story.