Quote:
Originally Posted by Artchic528
My uncle committed suicide. (Removed method) It trumatized her and left a huge gaping hole in her life and that of their three kids.
Their daughter didn't have a dad to walk her down the Isle on her wedding day. Their son with downs syndrome was left confused on why his dad wasn't around anymore.
I suffered from severe depression since middle school, maybe earlier.
I was lured into a van by some man and offered beer when I was too small to really understand the danger. I don't have any memories of what happened next. Maybe I was assalted, who knows? All I know is that I've had issues with boundaries ever since.
I was mercilessly bullied in middle school to the point where I'd rather die than go face the ridicule at school. I was dealing with my budding bisexuality and the absolutely vicious rumors one girl spread about my female friends and I being sexual with each other. Not true, of course, but the damage was done. I couldn't go anywhere to escape the ridicule and snickering. I was the laughing stock at school. To this day I get instinctively/reflex ably upset when I hear someone laughing near me because of that incident.
I had isolated myself so much from that incident, that by high school I'd rather spend lunch time in the school library or if that wasn't an option, I'd eat lunch in a bathroom stall. I skipped lunch more often than not by hanging out in the library though, and as a result, it took a toll on my body. I would pass out if I stood up too fast and had no energy.
I was making plans to end my life after senior year when my uncle beat me to the punch, so to speak. It opened up my eyes. I saw the wake of people affected and realized that it wasn't all about my pain and suffering anymore. If I ended my life, I would cause a great emotional and financial toll on my family.
Then came the online obsession I had, the rejection, having my heart figuratively torn out of my chest and that was the scariest time in my life, I almost downed my supply of meds, I never was at such a low point such as that. I was chilled to my very core. Literally so numbed and chilled it frightened me.
I decided against suicide, the single smartest choice I've ever made, and called a hot line for help. Out came the mobile crises unit and I was taken to a mental heath hospital where I was evaluated. Thankfully, they deemed me mentally sound enough to be treated outpatient.
So please, don't assume I don't understand depression, suffering, or suicide. In fact, please refrain from doing that ever again.
Everyone is entitled to their opinions, and I stand firmly by mine.
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Artchic, no one is denying that you are sick and hurting. Like many of us, you have been through very traumatic situations.
But you are misguided. Not all depression is curable. Not all is even treatable with meds. And addressing the problem through therapy is extremely difficult.
I have tried so many meds and nothing work. I was labeled treatment resistant. I tried transcranial magnetic stimulation, still didn't work. I did PHPs, IOPs, I did residential treatment, I DID EVERYTHING, and I read books, worked with therapists, worked with pdocs, nothing helped.
To say it's curable is ignorant. There is no cure for depression. There are some meds that help but they are not cures. We have no idea why one treatment works for one patient and not for another. That's like saying cancer is curable. It's not. It can go into remission, but it's not curable.
I'm not saying depression cannot be cured, but we don't know why it is cured for some and not for others. And as for your uncle, he succumbed to a mental illness. I am glad that you are determined this will not be your fate, but please don't judge people, especially here on PC, for not being able to do the same.