I love the way you put this and it resonates with me. I can be very wrong about interpreting something about people's statements and/or behavior, and T has been a great place to confront this. I used to be defensive at the mere suggestion that I could be wrong, and now I'm delighted when I am because I always learn something important about myself and about how my past continues to distort how I make sense of people (my "giant spotlight"). As I've become more confident in myself, in knowing myself and what's right for me, I am less worried about being wrong, more willing to be open minded about what "truth" could be. And less invested in arguing with people about it.

I don't really know, L, what was going on with your T. It seems really symbolic to me, the question "what is this?" And what is the truth? I wouldn't have any respect for a person who knows that this thing is x and not y and who would just let it go. This is the truth, I might say, and here is how I know it. Then I would let the person make up her own mind about it. It wouldn't be about being "challenged" in my expertise but for the desire to share what I know. Kind of that "teach a man to fish idea." You can just say, this is the truth, accept it. Or you can say, this is the truth and this is how I know. I respect the position of the person who tells me why, not just what. It is generous and open. And maybe I don't want the other person to be hoodwinked by someone who does not know. So I show her that he can be wrong, so maybe she has more power to know what's true.