Quote:
Originally Posted by lucozader
Thank you Manatee - I actually feel quite inspired by that to be brave and explore this with him! I know from experience that such topics often turn out to be the most useful and powerful places to go, but I do always find it hard at first. I guess it's also that the part of me that rather liked the whole thing doesn't want to 'ruin it' by drawing more attention to it.
I also generally enjoy finding out that I was wrong - as long as I have enough faith in and respect for the other person involved. I think me and T have done a little bit of that sort of work, and I think we have the potential to do plenty more of it!
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I admit it's a bit tricky because you have to be really confident that your T is thoughtful and self-aware and will under no circumstances gaslight you. That's the only way you can truly pick through distortions in your perception. It's a high level of trust, but your T sounds pretty solid.
I also think it's fine to admit that you liked the whole thing, including the way his following up with the jasper made you feel. I absolutely love when my T remembers something like that and mentions it or follows up later. I've been surprised at how talking about the good things that happen between us has strengthened/deepened my connection with my T. I used to have a lot of trouble with that kind of mushy, full-scale vulnerability. I felt like admitting that something was important or touching to me would make the other person denigrate it or take it away. But my T usually makes it a point to keep doing those things, which makes me understand that hiding the ways my emotional needs get met is just a useless holdover from my childhood, and I can mostly let it go.