Kaika,

I think you are working really hard to figure out your feelings and who you are. I applaud you for that. Your willingness to examine yourself this way is courageous and it will help you heal.

Yes, you have been through a lot, though I see you trying to minimize it. There was a lot of instability, pain and uncertainty in your life, and it feels from the way you write it that you have felt very alone, as well as harassed. You deserved better. Please know that. And you can empower yourself now to reach out and build a more fulfilling life for yourself.

Now, you also wrote "sorry for the overly-long post." Sounds like me - never want to be a bother, or at least not too much. Please know though that there is no such thing as an overly-long post. You have a lot to express and YOU DESERVE TO BE HEARD. We are here for you. Express as much as you need to and ask for as much as you need. It's not a burden.

be well,

mtd