Hi,

I just wanted to say that vulnerability is a tricky thing and I relate to how you feel when you get triggered and experience an episode. I feel really vulnerable and worried, like I expect to be betrayed again (like I was so many times in the past). Being vulnerable is scary. I have found that when I am vulnerable it brings out a lot of different reactions in people. Sometimes it allows for a strained relationship to be made stronger; other times it can utterly ruin a relationship and attract abusers.

I am wondering if in addition to shame, you might be experiencing some fear. (You mentioned you never want to be seen vulnerable except in the company of your fiance or yourself). Can you attribute this as a byproduct of trauma?

thanks,
HD7970ghz