T. I don't know what is happening, but i am so, so sad. so hopeless. i should just quit, right? you are right that i keep staying in this stuck place. i get it. i also do not know how to get out of it, and it makes me hate myself so much more.

i am not sure anyone can help me out of it, you know? i would write you, but since i've written you twice already tonight, i won't. i shall suffer alone, as always.