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Old May 01, 2018, 05:05 AM
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koru_kiwi koru_kiwi is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2011
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HD7970GHZ View Post
Abusive relationships and trauma are very complex. Look up trauma bonding or even the repetition compulsion.

Not everyone responds to abuse in the same way. Learned helplessness and the fawn response to trauma and danger or threat is quite common in trauma survivors. They also happen to be extremely vulnerable and at times, easily manipulated. Therapists learn what their vulnerabilities and triggers are and some will intentionally manipulate them to keep them around. This is especially the case if a client has attachment issues. Therapeutic relationships can grow into extremely unhealthy tangles of drama similar to romantic relationships; leaving the relationship hurts and so does staying. You ask why would anyone stay with an unethical therapist; perhaps that is something you will never understand until you are caught under the spell of an unethical therapist...

My guess is fear plays a role, albeit, not the only role.

for me, this is exactly spot on. it definilty was the fear that kept me stuck in a very unhealthy T relationship for over 5 years. i was not able to safely terminate from that painful and mind f*%k of a relationship until i fully recognised and figured out how to overcome that fear. it took over a year to do this and i don't think i could have done it without the continued support of my loving spouse, who actually use to accompany me to most of my sessions and witnessed first hand the complexity of the dynamics that were playing out between my ex-T and me.

thank you for explaining this so well
Hugs from:
HD7970GHZ, missbella
Thanks for this!
HD7970GHZ, here today, missbella