I think I may be out of step with most people here and elsewhere, but I don't see how this kind of speculation can possibly be a good thing. How can you know, without even asking him, whether he has "really thought about it."

It is your interpretation of his statements/actions that are the cause of being bothered. And if your distortion/bias is always to go for the least benign explanation, or to structure your beliefs in ways that mean people are always treating you with some kind of negative whiff, this seems to me like punching your own self in the face.

It's obviously my issue that I find speculation of this sort-- whether it's about T's or otherwise. There's a lot of it on this board. I'm more interested in introspection but if this is useful to you, carry on, I'm not trying to stop you by speaking my piece about it.