Quote:
Originally Posted by Anne2.0
I think I may be out of step with most people here and elsewhere, but I don't see how this kind of speculation can possibly be a good thing. How can you know, without even asking him, whether he has "really thought about it."
It is your interpretation of his statements/actions that are the cause of being bothered. And if your distortion/bias is always to go for the least benign explanation, or to structure your beliefs in ways that mean people are always treating you with some kind of negative whiff, this seems to me like punching your own self in the face.
It's obviously my issue that I find speculation of this sort-- whether it's about T's or otherwise. There's a lot of it on this board. I'm more interested in introspection but if this is useful to you, carry on, I'm not trying to stop you by speaking my piece about it.
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I think it's important because there is no therapeutic intent that I can see, and it is important that therapists act with therapeutic intent. So the therapist has either
a)hit upon a blind spot they need to work on (ie they are oblivious)
or b) they don't care that they are acting in a non-therapeutic way.
It it were b) (which I seriously doubt) I think it's better that the client knows that the therapist has non-therapeutic intent and doesn't care, so they can make a decision about whether they want a therapist like that.
If it's a) (which it almost certainly is) I think it's important that it is raised to the awareness of the therapist so they can work it out in their own time and prevent their own needs impacting on the relationship in this way again.
This is how my therapy has always worked, and it's what makes it safe.