Trigger -
Im struggling allot lately this week with this particular things. Growing up.. so much happened, but short story is that as a kid i acted out sexually due to allot of things. My mom really thought i was a slut. She would make me feel so bad and tell me I couldnt even so much as hug my dad... who she suspected i was doing something with. I used to cringe when i heard the word slut even at 9 or 10, bc when i heard it.. i had already felt the shame and rejection from my mom.. I already knew how painful that label even if implied it could be. Later in life, i had other people i loved treat me like i was the ***** they needed to protect their husbands from. I never understood why.. ppl saw so much bad in me, but at the same time i knew the lot of what i had been exposed to had made an indelible mark on me. Am i who my mother thought i was? This really hurts me tonight.