I am sorry you are experiencing such issues right now. Interestingly, I had someone shout out to me, "Your fat" while I was walking to my vehicle. Things like this happen to me, whether its being shouted out that I am fat, or shouted at that I'm a ******. Human beings can be pure evil. Alas, I can relate on how such things affect us.

Right now I can sense you are feeling a bit hopeless and feel like things will never change. One thing we have to keep in mind is that we cannot predict our future and regardless of our past, the future may change. I too struggle with seeing a bleak unchanging future. I am experiencing episodic depression right now and I can tell I am headed for a major depressive episode, so I hope that by talking with others I can head this off. Perhaps by telling your stories here and talking with others can help you through this difficult time.

Here, you are not alone. While we all have different lives, we share something others do not understand: mental illness. In that regard, through these forums we are not alone.