content note: discussions but no graphic descriptions of antidepressants and past suicidal ideation
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this might be a bit silly but... I'm wondering if one can be happy (or at least not unhappy) and still want to self-harm. I'm currently in that position.

for context, I've never self-harmed before. I have depression and mild anxiety, and I'm currently on antidepressants that have helped a lot with both. now that I'm happy more often though, I feel both 1) overwhelmed with this new happiness, and 2) strangely bored because I'm so used to experiencing ups and downs of being depressed/feeling okay etc. and now it's just an endless plateau. like my emotional range has shrunk.

I don't think I'm in immediate danger right now--it's more of a curiosity or than a craving. but I honestly don't think I'd know what to do if it ever did become a strong urge, or if I wanted to give in. even when I have experienced suicidal ideation before, I never felt the specific urge to self-harm...