She said we'd talk today. We haven't. I'm going to take a shower and go see her, Hopefully.

I could only do this with someone I absolutely trust and for some reason I trust her. The prior friend died of alcoholism. We had the strangest relationship of any two people ever anyway. She was very attractive, but not to me. I didn't ever think of her that way. Either of us could be naked in the room while changing and the other might glance up, but it wasn't anything to worry about or dirty. I saw a tattoo she had in a very personal place up close on accident while picking up a fork and she then showed it to me and I didn't look past the tat. We didn't sexualize each other at all. We were just friends. Even when we were both so drunk we couldn't stand or on various drugs we tried together it was perfectly ok to be there naked and know you were completely safe. My then, now ex, wife knew how close we were and that she stood zero chance in breaking up that friendship and to leave us be, even though we were only two doors away. I was able to talk to her about everything and she to me. I did love her more than anyone else ever and I miss her all the time.
I think I know what I'm doing to myself now, and should also probably not pursue the situation. The current friend does make dirty comments and seems to mean them. I think it's more than she could handle, to be intimate and only a friend without sex. I may have lost a friend over this.