I told T how important it was that I made such a realization last week and that I felt somewhat vindicated and that it helped me understand myself so much better.

THEN I said an "accidental" word (or Freudian slip), not sure which. I was so embarrassed. I know T noticed it as he seems to notice everything. We talked about it and he said humans make embarrassing mistakes. And he told me that sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. I hate when I analyze every little thing I do/say. It's like I can't help it. I don't know if it is just paranoia and I just need to get over it. I don't know what it is real or not.