It also means, all those ppl, that won't be the same without you. The abuse didn't happened in one day, it took some time. So therapy, and possible meds will olso take time. Therapy is trusting someone to talk with about the things that hurt you the most, and that kind of trust doesn't happen over night, it will take time. When the time is right, you will be able to talk some about what has happened to you. You may even have to try a couple of T's before you make a connection, that you can talk too. Don't give up, life is so worth going through. Think about the children you may have one day, or many other things, like walking on a beach. There is so many reasons not to go to that point.