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Originally Posted by Entity06
All men and women are "touched" by sexism(towards women) to some extent, the world is at the core and at the surface filled with sexist messages, just that some are so subtle and ingrained in the fabric of society that they are almost not noticeable, unquestioned.
In the same way all white people are touched by racism. The idea is to analyze everything, the meaning and origin of everything we're conditioned to believe about one another and about ourselves from the perspective of gender, sexuality or ethnicity and better ourselves, cure ourselves of these harmful perceptions, catching and correcting ourselves when we have a knee jerk reaction to judge someone in any way based on something like their gender or color.
No one is blaming all men and of course there's a lot of men who are absolutely feminist and reject toxic masculinity and so on. The idea is that we are all sadly starting off by being socialized and conditioned to have some sexist perceptions, because those are the messages we're bombarded by from a young age when we absorb without being able to choose.
It's not pointing fingers, it's drawing attention to what is inside of us all. After all, some of the most sexist people in the world are women. We all receive the same messages about who is strong and who is weak, as a general example.
Besides, the first step to changing something is to identify all the problems, accept they're there and need changing and then do something about it.
I think one very interesting and telling perspective is that of trans people who transition and "pass". There are such subtle differences sometimes in how people treat you based on assumed gender, that you can only be made fully aware when you experience both. I've read more than a few accounts from transwomen who knew people are sexist but still had a shock and there's transmen who talked about how much safer they felt just because they're perceived as men, nothing more, how much more respected they felt everywhere or that they felt under less scrutiny at work, treated more fairly, etc and often this feeling came from super small things.
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This is thoughtful, and I like it.
The thing I'd disagree with, is that some women
do blame all men. I've seen it online a lot. Some women, take their problems, and well, deflect them and not just blame men for their problems, but they use the current feminist movement to hide behind. I witnessed this with a (ex)friend of mine. She lies, is manipulative, plays games with others, basically, she has issues of her own. She was raped more than once by men over her lifetime, and perhaps she has reason to hate them. She's called herself a misandrist before. I think though, generalizations are not usually helpful. There are actually a lot of good guys out there.
That being said, it's out there. Sexism is out there. Some women experience it still on a daily basis. All I know is I'm glad to live where I live (the US). It's not oppressive here. Not for me, anyway (though it might be for other women! I can't deny that!). If you respect me and are a good guy, I'll know it. If you have toxic male attitudes, I'll know that, too. Look at guys like Harvey Weinstein. It is out there. Even in Hollywood. But there are definitely just as terrible women out there, too.
I have more stories, by the way. I was sexually harassed by boys my age in the 6th grade. My first college boyfriend was a total tool. One thing I truly believe, is that we need to teach women, especially sensitive and shy women, that we are equal. That they have
rights. Because for a long time, I didn't know I did. I don't really see these kinds of issues affecting some women, and I see it affecting other women a lot. To say its not there? Is inaccurate. But to blame it for everything and all things, especially in first world countries, is also inaccurate. We need to teach women and men, boys and girls, self respect, and how to respect others. I was brought up fearful, and it was used against me: "what are you going to do if so and so finds out," "you better do your homework or your teacher will be mad." I was brought up a people pleaser. Or maybe I was a people pleaser, and then it was used to my mother's advantage, so I evolved to really care what others thought and was very manipulatable. What I really needed was to be taught self love and self respect. Not to fear what people would think of me. Not to hate myself.
I do agree, that, like racism, like classism, like ableism, like ageism, sexism touches our world and life whether we know it or not. Women can definitely be abusers too though, most definitely and for sure. I think abuse and disrespect are interesting things. Sometimes people don't even know they're doing it or are not aware (men or women). Or care. Doesn't make it right though. And everybody's got an excuse.
I'm going to close this, by saying that even in Buddhism, one of my most favorite things, there is sexism (against women) and misogyny.
But to the great men out there. Please keep being you. It is greatly appreciated.
We all have different experiences in life, and they are all valid.