Quote:
Originally Posted by TrailRunner14
I have to believe that there is healing and a peeling away of the hurt.
Maybe?
|
I hope there is healing and peeling away of the hurt. I hope there is a way to find a healthy form of love because I know my way of approaching it is incredibly unhealthy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TrailRunner14
Sacrifice.
That’s always been my feeling of it.
To me that borders on obedience and self sacrifice.
That’s just the feeling in me that I don’t matter and what I need or desire has no value.
That’s just me and where I come from.
|
This. So much this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel
Not to sacrifice yourself, as in who you are. But making sacrifices for the betterment of the other person. Like a friend who needs to talk at midnight even though you're in bed. Things like that. The less you're willing to sacrifice, the less you probably care about that person; the more you sacrifice probably the more you care. But you should never sacrifice who you are. If they care about you, they'll never ask that of you.
This hits close to home for me. My sister thinks she has to be submissive in her relationship in order to be happy. But she is losing herself. Then she has outbursts of anger, depression, anxiety. She is completely unhappy. But she doesn't realize she's in a vicious cycle. She just wants her boyfriend to love her. Sorry for getting off track...
|
Your sister could be me. The thing is, my girlfriend doesn't ask for me to sacrifice anything but I do it because I care and I want us to work but I am losing myself so much. I do recognize that I was 100% groomed to be this way by my parents and that is what love is to me. Love is putting all other needs above my own. Love is denying my hopes in dreams out of fear that it might inconvenience my significant other. Love is an overwhelming fear of rejection. Love is painful.
(Sorry....still in that dark place....)