Guess what happened again last night?

I know this is such a bad idea. Like of all the people I could develop feelings for, this guy is THE WORST IDEA EVER because he is ZERO days sober AND has relapsed several times in the last few months, AND is in the same PhD program I’m in. We both have a **** ton of issues, and neither of us is in any place to be in a relationship.
But waking up in his arms, with him looking at me affectionately and then lazily cuddling and staying under the warm blankets and gently caressing each other before I finally had to get up to make it to my 9:30 meeting... that was nice and I can't help but want to wake up to that again.
Minus the part when he ran to the bathroom and started puking from the hangover/withdrawal.
God, I don't know which would be more embarrassing to talk about, the sex stuff or the fact that I have gross warm and fuzzy feelings. This isn't me. I haven't been in a relationship for 4 years because I don't fall for other people, they fall for me.

And do I even want to spend our time talking about this? Or the elephant in the room, i.e. the fact that last session I gave you writing explaining my attachment issues and that I had developed an attachment to you that was only going to get more intense and half expected you to terminate because of it and tell me I was pathetic and disgusting and too much to handle, oh and I spent the entire session on the floor hiding behind the chair because I couldn't even bear to look at you or be looked at by you while we talked about it.

I'm planning to start the session by asking you a personal question. If you've been in therapy, have you ever had to disclose or discuss something that invoked feelings of intense shame? I don't need any details, I just want to know if you know what it feels like.
Sometimes it feels like you think my shame is silly, but I'm not sure if that's just you trying to make me feel like you're not judging me and don't think I need to feel ashamed of these things, or if you truly don't understand the intensity and power of the feeling.