Well I would not describe the situation as abusive or neglectful. I was a fulll-time mother to him from the age of two. I gave him every opportunity and equal love and attention as I did my biological children. But they were not trying to injur people at the age of four to get what they wanted. They were not stealing by the age of 10. I was not called to the school office once to twice weekly to fetch them. I did not have teachers refuse to teach them. I did not have to collect them from the police station or have them returned by them to my home. They did not have serious fights where they put people in the hospital.What they did have was a parent who held them to expected behaviour and accountability. As far as his father was concerned, 'boys will be boys'. If there was any neglect you would have to look in that direction.