Quote:
Originally Posted by Nemii
I want to run away sometimes, but he is a good father... he's just not a good husband. I know he'll use my mental illness against me. He's done it before, and I would die before I let anyone take my kids from me. I know it's bad but he has gotten better. I'd rather he knock me around then talk to me though. I guess it's just confusing.
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your description is classic abused spouse.
typically abused people tend to be the ones that try so hard to look for reasons to excuse their behavior or deny that it's as bad as it is. They are the enduring ones that put up with it for so long and say thngs like "he's a good father though" but in reality if he's capable of abusing you, likely it will extend to the children at some point when they are older. Can you imagine for a sec a teenager acting out rebellious toward someone that is capable of abuse? Think long and hard about it before you say he's a good father. Also does a good father show his children how to treat a spouse by beating her up either verbally or physically? just because they dont' get the brunt of the abuse themselves, realize it IS affecting them whether you want to admit it or not.
Please seek help, get out as soon as you can and take the kids with you.
I think the part that worries me the most is that you actually said knocking you around is better than the alternative. Can you not see how this is a bad thing?