Quote:
Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006
your description is classic abused spouse.
typically abused people tend to be the ones that try so hard to look for reasons to excuse their behavior or deny that it's as bad as it is. They are the enduring ones that put up with it for so long and say thngs like "he's a good father though" but in reality if he's capable of abusing you, likely it will extend to the children at some point when they are older. Can you imagine for a sec a teenager acting out rebellious toward someone that is capable of abuse? Think long and hard about it before you say he's a good father. Also does a good father show his children how to treat a spouse by beating her up either verbally or physically? just because they dont' get the brunt of the abuse themselves, realize it IS affecting them whether you want to admit it or not.
Please seek help, get out as soon as you can and take the kids with you.
I think the part that worries me the most is that you actually said knocking you around is better than the alternative. Can you not see how this is a bad thing?
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I know it's bad, I know it's not healthy and it's even harder talking about it and getting feedback which is the same things I'd say to anyone else.
I will say he keeps it from the kids. He keeps it from everyone. No one even supects, which I think is pretty damn pathetic when I would walk around with black eyes and busted lips. Not one person has ever helped me, and believe me I've tried to get out before no one has ever believed me when I told them I needed help. I'm not trying to justify it anymore, it was just easier to take a beating then to listen to the hateful things he tells me.
At least after he would settle down and be happy, but now it's just constant hate. I want to run but I don't know where to go, I know he'd just track me down. I just don't understand why he won't let me go.
As for abuse extending to my kids, thats why I quit my job-- I was just too stressed working all day and not knowing if they were okay-- I would leave work every couple of hours just to check on them. I couldn't take it so I just had to quit.
I just hope he finds someone else, and lets me go.
I don't have it in me to fight anymore.
I tried and everyone turmed on me, and told me it was my fault.
Which I get, but I didn't know he was like this, at first I just assumed it was a kink we shared, but then it became normal, everyday, out of no where.
I just hold on to the hope that he'll get better like he did with the physical stuff.
I don't know. I don't know what to do. I can't bring myself to explain it.