I know it's bad, I know it's not healthy and it's even harder talking about it and getting feedback which is the same things I'd say to anyone else.
I will say he keeps it from the kids. He keeps it from everyone. No one even supects, which I think is pretty damn pathetic when I would walk around with black eyes and busted lips. Not one person has ever helped me, and believe me I've tried to get out before no one has ever believed me when I told them I needed help. I'm not trying to justify it anymore, it was just easier to take a beating then to listen to the hateful things he tells me.
At least after he would settle down and be happy, but now it's just constant hate. I want to run but I don't know where to go, I know he'd just track me down. I just don't understand why he won't let me go.
As for abuse extending to my kids, thats why I quit my job-- I was just too stressed working all day and not knowing if they were okay-- I would leave work every couple of hours just to check on them. I couldn't take it so I just had to quit.

I just hope he finds someone else, and lets me go.
I don't have it in me to fight anymore.
I tried and everyone turmed on me, and told me it was my fault.
Which I get, but I didn't know he was like this, at first I just assumed it was a kink we shared, but then it became normal, everyday, out of no where.

I just hold on to the hope that he'll get better like he did with the physical stuff.
I don't know. I don't know what to do. I can't bring myself to explain it.