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Old May 03, 2018, 06:40 PM
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LonesomeTonight LonesomeTonight is offline
Always in This Twilight
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 22,039
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thalassophile View Post
I obviously have no idea of what your T is really like except for my interpretation of what you write about him on here but that does seem unlike him from what you have written before.
Agreed, it did seem unlike him, so that's what confused me.

Quote:
Originally I though it does seem like he is being inconsistent with the boundaries but maybe he just realizes it's okay to be a little bit flexible with certain things.

I find some days my T seems much much 'warmer' than usual and more conversational and he is usually pretty warm. Whilst he never has really changed boundaries there are times he has perhaps said more than he usually would. I put it down to the fact that he was just more relaxed on that day for whatever reason and forgot to go into full 'therapy mode' lol. I think that most therapists even when being mostly themselves go into 'therapy mode' where they have to be more cautious about what they do or say. Not that they are are lying all the time or anything (although I know lots on here will disagree) but just being more 'careful. It must be hard to maintain this consistency and sometimes it drops possibly even more so with long term clients. Kind of like when teachers are in teacher mode in a classroom and on a rare occasion they let loose and make an unusual joke. That's obviously just my opinion and may be completely wrong and may not even be what is happening in your situation.
This makes sense...I mean, it could be, too, in the beginning, he knew I pushed lots of boundaries with my marriage counselor--and ex-MC let me do that, too, and would relax his boundaries. So maybe T was trying to be particularly strict about his boundaries, because he was expecting me to keep pushing them. But then...for example, when he told me I had been intrusive with the one text, I haven't texted him about anything but scheduling since (and actually, one of those was an e-mail because it wasn't overly urgent). So maybe he realizes that once he's clear about boundaries, I *do* respect them. So than he's OK with loosening them a bit because he believes that I won't take advantage of them. Maybe I just had to prove myself, in a sense.

And for sharing more (like political stuff) in session, it could just be he's feeling more comfortable with me in general, so he's relaxing during session and letting more of himself in. Like just a natural progression of a relationship.
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