Oh hun....I know the sorrow, the rage and the hurt you feel. When my sister passed away in 1996, it was storming between the city we lived in and the city where she was when we got teh call from her husband that she was dying. My parents refused to let me and my sons come along because my father didn't want to put us at risk on the road. I was screaming at them that my sister was dying and I deserved to be there too. They left without me. My brother was supposed to drive me up later. He had a fear of death and would not get on teh road until she died. So, thanks to my father's decisions and my brother's fears, I did not get a chance to say goodbye to her either.

12 years later, I still feel the anger and hurt but it has lessened. It will take time and lots of patience and understanding but mostly it will take time. Your Mom will always be in your heart and you will see parts of her in your other family members.

I get glimpses of my sister in my parents and I have the joy now of talking about her to her son. He was too young to recall alot of the love she gave to him. But, each time you remember your Mom and talk about something she did or said, she will be back with you again.

All my caring and sympathy to you, hun. A mom's soul is now free to flow among you whether or not you see it.