Hi. I've noticed something quite unusual happen to me recently, and I was wondering if someone could help decipher what it might be.

For background, I'm a 23 year old and have had DPDR symptoms on and off for around 5 years now; mostly on the derealisation side. Long-term sufferer of depression and anxiety as well. I also have epilepsy, which may be relevant, I'm not sure how much (if any) similarity there is with dissociative stuff.

Recently symptoms have increased, and depersonalisation notably so. It is a stressful time for me currently. Anyway, on two separate occasions while in a dissociated state (once around a week ago, and again tonight) I've experienced thoughts that are sort of like new characters in my head. They're not hallucinations or anything, but it seems as if they are thoughts with 'another personality' to my typical inner monologue. They've both appeared at the pinnacle of intense stress, when I've been feeling despaired and suicidal, and on both occasions very swiftly calmed 'me' down.

The first time, I was lying in bed unable to sleep, and I had thoughts that seemed to be from a motherly middle-age woman, repeatedly saying something like "It's alright, you're going to be alright, calm down...", and I kind of imagined a hand patting me on the head softly. This and the voice did calm me down rapidly. I believe I thanked her afterwards as if the thoughts were another person.

Second time was only a few hours before writing this (the repetition being why I've decided to ask about it). I was in another state of nihilistic mental anguish, but not in bed this time. I was considering self-mutilating even, which I haven't in a long time (didn't do in the end, thankfully). Then at some overwhelming point I had thoughts that took on a stern man's voice, like a sergeant, which said angrily, "go do some f---ing work now," and variations thereof. My 'primary voice' became sort of obedient and submissive, replying "yes, alright..." and then going to do some writing. This completely calmed me down and relieved me of my nihilism. The thoughts were angry but not unpleasant; it was as if they knew I had to do some work to gain meaning back into my life.

So I presume these experiences are of a dissociative nature, I'm not exactly sure. I can't tell either if I'm just 'putting on' different voices, just like you have a negative voice and a positive voice, etc. They do seem vaguely like characters, but I can think like them by will if I want. However, there was a sort of sense of 'otherness' when they first occurred. Oh, and definitely not hallucinations.

So, could someone give their opinion on what this sounds like? I don't have any history of DID or child abuse, I'm almost certain it isn't that. Could depersonalisation alone cause this? Or maybe even something other than dissociation.

Anyway, thanks very much if you read all that. It's quite worrying especially if it continues, so some help would be greatly appreciated!