Every marriage is different and what works for one doesn’t work for another.
I really don’t understand people making comments that there is nothing wrong with porn.
Maybe it’s not wrong for your marriage (hypothetical “you”) but it clearly upsets OP. So if people are fine with it in their marriage it’s great but the post is about OP not other people.
One thing is to discuss snooping or stuff like that and the other argue how “nothing wrong with porn”. It’s like if someone comes here upset that their spouse insist on threesomes and people would argue “so what, nothing wrong with it, I do it all the time”. Who cares. How is it even helpful?