Well... I have boatloads of disturbing thoughts. (I'll spare you the details!) This sounds to me kind-of like a Pure O situation. Certainly talking about it with a therapist would be a great way to go if that is a possibility for you.

Family therapist, Kati Morton, has a video on her YouTube channel on the subject of Pure O. Here's a link to that video:



You asked if there's a way to get rid of these thoughts or if you're just stuck with them. I think the general consensus of opinion is that trying to block or somehow get rid of disturbing thoughts just makes them keep coming back. So here's a link to a description of a practice called: compassionate abiding that may be of some help:

https://mindsetdoc.wordpress.com/201...e-abiding-101/

Also... here are links to some articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on the subject of how to deal with stuck thoughts:

https://psychcentral.com/blog/9-ways...tuck-thoughts/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to...sive-thoughts/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/relat...-and-thoughts/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/dbt/2...sive-thoughts/

I wish you well...