This will probably be more difficult for me to talk about than things I've talked about in the past, but I need to talk to someone about it... I'm a very submissive masochist. I fantasize about being hurt by boyfriends a lot, both physically and emotionally. My current boyfriend is aware of this and I trust him not to do anything to me that I don't consent to, but I just wonder a lot, am I bad or gross for this? For wanting to be controlled so much? I can't imagine that it's normal to be this way. I feel guilty and ashamed but I can't help feeling the way I do.