. . .
At the same time, I feel slightly more hopeful just having done something. And because I'm now imagining how to explain what happened to this new T, and I'm thinking it through a lot, I had an epiphany of sorts. When I was a kid in school and getting picked on -- something I talked to my ex T a lot about, because years of social rejection had left me with a lot of issues -- I typically felt confused and befuddled as to what I had done to disgust people and make them despise me. Well, that's how my ex T has made me feel all over again. I don't know what I did to disgust him -- but it seems like I did -- and I feel lost and confused and ashamed. No wonder the "child parts" acted up so intensely after this happened, it paralleled some of those bad experiences.

So, it's been a bit helpful just to set up the appointment, but I'm worried that if the new T comes across as wondering what I did wrong, I will just be hurt all the more. I already feel like I'm in the wrong somehow, I don't need more scrutiny along the lines of "Yes, what is wrong with you anyway?" It just feels like a huge risk.

Has anyone had a positive experience with a new T after a bad break-up with an ex T?