Hello Everyone
This is for my friend D. Hope it offers you, and perhaps others, ideas
that will be helpful.
I took the past week off the forum because my depression had reached the point where I felt I had nothing positive to contribute. I was fed up with the animal haters and one senior hater in particular but blowing up at them would serve no purpose. And I was angry at myself. Self pity is
such a waste of energy and time. I can't stand to hear myself whining and my inner critic always takes that as a cue to start his doomsday
litany of b s. I rarely allow those darkest thoughts but they were creeping in, opening the door for my worst alter. I could almost hear the
biatch whispering, "Maybe you should let me run things. You aren't doing such a great job right now."
That scared the effing crap out of me!
My alters have been on lock down for sixteen months and I have been in control. Time to employ some rational, logical, ordered thought and
retain control.
So I wrote this question. WHY are you depressed?
(Putting it down on paper always helps. I journal a lot, as well.)
The whole medical thing.
My battle with the VA.
The deplorable condition of my lair.
People who are trying to take advantage of me.

The first one: (And thank you to those who have reassured me that anger is not an uncommon reaction to a heart attack.) Why was my
recovery taking so long? By process of elimination, I finally found the
answer on my own. I am allergic to blood thinners. No one should ever
diagnose them selves, of course, but it was the only logical answer. I already have a rudimentary knowledge of how the human body works,
as I believe so many of us do, and have a good friend who is a nurse.
And I don't know if this is true for everyone, but depression leads me to
self neglect.
SOLUTION: Stop taking the blood thinners, start eating right, hydrate,
get enough sleep and don't push too hard.
The VA Situation. They have been screwing with me for 48 years and I
actually splintered while in the service. (If you have Dissociative Identity
Disorder, when you 'splinter', you break into your separate personalities.) Not fun. So I've been treated like a pariah, dealt with bogus lawyers and been denied benefits for what is a 100% disabling
condition. But I just didn't have the inner strength to keep fighting and
to my regret and shame, I just gave up.
I know this is long but I need to be honest here. My solution and the rest
follow in the next thread.