Quote:
Originally Posted by Moment
(1) You can bring up anything you want in therapy. It's your time. Certainly stuff that you'd just "let go" in life is worth talking about in therapy. Sometimes it is the small things that are the most revealing, about both yourself and the therapist.
(2) You say you understand that he doesn't want to do therapy over email but then said you've been revealing yourself over email and are upset with his responses and feel ignored. That makes me wonder
(a) why are you choosing to emotionally reveal yourself in a medium (email) that you know your therapist does not like to use? I'm not trying to be snarky here. I am genuinely asking. You could hold off and wait and express those same emotions in session, when he's actually physically present and able to respond fully. But you're choosing not to do that. Does it feel "safer" via email? And is choosing a safe but ultimately disappointing route potentially part of a pattern?
and
(b) I am really curious why he allows emails and why he has these different responses (reassuring vs. curt). It seems worth talking about with him for sure.
My therapist never offered me his email address and I am relieved. I don't want that option there.
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I have a hard time opening up and being vulnerable in general and it’s easier to do by myself rather than in front of someone else. I know that’s not ideal, but I’m not sure what to do about that. Expressing myself through email is just easier. And yes, safer. Also, sometimes I can think about something more deeply when I’m by myself and there’s no guarantee I’ll be able to do that or feel that during my once/week 50 minute appointment. Generally, that’s when the walls go up and it’s just harder to think straight.
I’m not sure whether this whole email topic is petty and therefore not sure if I should bring it up with him. This is something I would definitely let go of in real life, but since it’s therapy, should I say something? If so, should I do it now (via emai) when I’m really feeling something or should I hold off until I see him next week at which time I might not really care? If I email now, saying I feel dismissed he will possibly email back with a sentence or two apologizing genuinely for hurting my feelings. I’m not sure I want to put him in a position where he feels like he needs to apologize. Then I just feel like I’m making a big deal out of nothing. So I’m stuck.
I do like your idea of asking why he sometimes has curt responses and other times not. I may do just that. I know he’s not a huge fan of email but is aware that I process things better via email so I think that’s why he tolerates it, although I know he’d rather discuss things together in person.